How To Give Out Love And To Let It Come In
"The most important thing in life is to
learn how to give out love, and to let it come in."
Morrie Schwartz
That pain I felt sometime ago really sucks... and I asked myself why do I have to be the one to feel it? That feeling of being left out, unimportant and thinking you're not good enough for them. I feel sorry for myself. I wallow in self-pity and justifying my hatred of others. I consoled myself with the thought that I would just be fine being alone and wouldn't need any of them to survive. And indeed I was okay...but alone! Time moved on, but I never really got out from that feeling. I met other people but I always keep my distance from them. I refuse to let anyone get closer to me. I select friends and people ro get along and I stay away from events and ocassions. I was afraid of them to know me because I always carry that feeling that there's something wrong with me.
I had those moments of "feeling lost" from this world and not knowing why am I here... what's my use and who am I for? There were moments of depression and self-doubts -what's wrong with me? It happened most of the time when I'm lonely and got no one to talk to.
I isolated myself so no one could hurt me. I found from my brother's drawer a book titled "thinking positive". It was composed of short saying, poems and quotes that uplift ones emotions. I like it! It soothes me. Then I bought this book Purpose Driven Life. It amazed me! It answered many of my questions and enlightened my thoughts. It moved me to seek for more wisdom from the bible.
And later, upon absorbing wisdom, I've learned that it was just me who sucks. I realized that I was selfish before and I always want people to do more for me that I to them. You know that quote "Don't ask me to do something for you that you wouldn't do for me." And whenever I do someone a favor, I always expect that he/she owed me something in return. I thought being fair and square was a justifying attitude. I realized that it was indeed a selfish one to count the good things you've done for others. I guess I was afraid that people might abuse or take advantage of my generousity. I remember from my younger years when I usually do others a favor in doing their assignments and projects. I used to enjoy it until one day when I was the one who needed help and assistance but no one offered me a hand... that's when I started to think doing less and being fair. Imagine how some bad experienced from my past had changed me so much in the long run. I then tend to be hesitant in offering my help first and I also had that revengeful attitude. I couldn't let go easily of my hatred. I always feel like I have to avenge myself because no one else would. But then, that was the old me and I know I sucks. No wonder why people doesn't stay around me. No wonder I'm always the least from their choices. Now that I realized it, but somehow too late for me to change their perception about me... I can't go back to my past, but I am living in the present now where I change my ways and my attitude. I was being conditional about everything to everyone before... but now I learned my lessons in life and thank you to my learnt wisdom I got ..I love my new ways. I give without counting how many. I accept gifts without comparing to what I have given. I help my friends in need ...may it be financially or emotionally without thinking that she owed me that one. I become selfless and didn't mind what it would do for me. But with God's grace, I never stop receiving blessings in different form. I never got alone anymore and I never worry in difficult times because I'm confident that my family and friends will not abandon me. And this is love! You give out love without weighing how much you give from how much you received. And when you love your family and friends, you just love them...without making them work to earn your love, and they would just love you back sincerely. When Jesus Christ was crucified and died on the cross in exchange for our forgiveness of sins, he showed us the unconditional love. Through his death he saved us all without any catch in return.
How to describe Love? From the bible, we are taught about love to be the greatest of all.
For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.
-John 3.16
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