Painful Break Up vs. Happy Break Up

I thought about this for some time. Why I felt no pain on my break up with my previous partner? there were no struggle, no regrets, just nothingness. In fact it was a happy break up.

Months ago, I listened to my friend's story about her painful breakup with her boyfriend of 9 years. I knew the couple since from the start of their relationship. I wasn't expecting them to break up after all they've been through. I was expecting that they would get engage and get married. Infact, I was just waiting for their announcement because the last time we talked, she made a joke about them getting married soon. But that is not the story. This is about her pain and the processed she'd gone through compared to mine from my previous break-up.

It was totally the opposite!

As her friend, I can say I feel for her, I can relate somehow but only because I'm a woman too with emotions and had other other relationships before. But honestly, I haven't experienced being hurt so much like how she does. She went through all the stages of breakup:
1. Denial,
2. Bargaining,
3. Depression,
4. Relapse,
5. Anger

Thank God I haven't gone through those processes because it was a happy break up for me and a blessing. Probably because I've clinged on to a relationship that I so wanted to escape. I clinged on for some reasons but not for love.
To be precise:
1. My family has accepted him already.
2. I'm close to his family especially to his siblings.
3. We've been together for some years.
4. And that's all.

It was a toxic relationship with a gaslighter anyway. And perhaps, that is why I feel nothing and I don't give a damn losing him because I was already convinced that I don't want to be in his life, and I don't want him to be in mine.

So when I got the chance to walk away, I took it happily as I have waited for so long for that day to come.

As to my friend, the very reason why she hold on for some time is merely because of "Love". Because she loved truly and she almost gave her whole self to the relationship which she trusted for almost a decade. It was so painful for her by letting go of a relationship that she has invested with so much time, feelings and emotions. That's why it took her a while to pick up herself, let go of pain, absorb the reality and finally letting go of someone she loves and move on with her life. It was a painful break up for her cause her heart didn't really gave up... it was more of a logical reason why jusy let go. She is wise and she understands that she can't have him back by begging. But perhaps by proving to herself that she can be independent again without his love and by loving herself even more, she might leave the guy and everyone the impression that she is wothy to be love and respected. She is a very strong woman.

While I on the other hand, I was stupid but I learned my lessons well. I was relieve to let go of a relationship that my heart have already given up a long time ago. I had the biggest smile on my face.

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